WE ARE FAMILY

Well, next year 2010 will be our 20th year Anniversary, how did that happen, where did the time go?  With each year we grow, learn a little bit more and are bonded stronger together as a family.  We are not exempt from trials but are also rich in blessings and laughter.  With each new challenge life brings we try to remind ourselves, that this is given to us for our good! We can learn from it and become better people or we can give in and give up on what we are striving for......being together forever!

I am abundantly blessed with 5 wonderful children. I love them so much and see what generous and accepting people they are. They honestly strive to do what is right and try to be good to those around them. I am pretty amazed for the most part at how well they get along....I think they all really do like each other!

I am even more blessed with a husband that loves me and wants the best for me.  He is my best friend and we are trying so hard to raise good and righteous children who love their Father in Heaven and strive on a daily basis to live the life He has in mind for them.  We have had our share of ups and downs like all couples, but try to view these are growing times and once again.....we can give in and give up or we can remember what we are striving for.....being together forever! We can hold onto each other a little tighter and be a little softer and gentler when the world seems like such  a harsh place to be a part of. 

We can kiss each other in front of our children, which if they are so embarrassed  of.....why do they smile so big! They need to know we love each other, we love them and that we think our family is the best thing that ever happened in our lives....they need to be so firm in this....that they never even question that we are on their team and will help them through anything in their life!

My Sugar Bear......Emma Darlene!

Since the day she was born, she has had this special place in my heart...in fact before she was born, I knew there was someone missing in my life. After 4 years of trying, I became pregnant with Emma and knew she was that missing puzzle piece in our family. Others may have given up, but I knew she was still to come.  One day when I was at the store a lady who had stopped to take a peak at my precious baby; bundled in her car seat, she made a comment to me that has always stuck with me. Emma was about 4 months old and the woman said to me "she looks at you with endearing eyes, I don't think I have ever seen a baby look at her mother the way that she looks at you."  Since that day, I have paid close attention to the beautiful eye contact that she has always given to me.  Oh I wish she could tell me all that she knows!!!!

Well, last week Emma now age 3, woke up in her happy cheerful mood, gave me a hug and proceeded to play and start her day....then she says,  "Mommy, I dreamed about you last night." I stopped what I was doing because now she had my attention. I ask her to tell me about her dream and this is what she tells me..............."Mommy, we were walking and you were so tired, so I carried you....I carried you for a long time, you were so tired and could not walk anymore....then I sat down and you slept on my shoulder like a little baby mommy."  I was quite baffled at her dream, if she only knew how many times in my life she has carried me. When  her little smile made my day and her sweet singing helped me to want

to do better and be a good mommy to her. 

My children are truly magnificent people. They amaze me on a daily basis. I know that they love me, their daily hugs and kisses and sweet ways show me on a daily basis that we have a wonderful relationship which I completely cherish.  I am so blessed to be a mother and am so thankful for our tender moments. Then I compare my love to the love that our Heavenly Father has for us and am in total awe at what He must feel for each one of us. I know that He loves me and does carry me and helps me through my trials. I am so thankful for the knowledge that I have of this and all of the other things I know. These things make life on this earth a little easier, makes me want to try a little harder and helps me to smile a little bigger.

Life is good!

What a gal......

If you are lucky enough to have a daughter like Breanna, she will keep amazing you on a daily basis with the goals and requirements she makes for herself.  Some of the things that have come out of her mouth are: "My teacher says we have to read 30 minutes everyday, I am going to read 6 chapters in the morning and 6 at night." or like when we went to the library the other day, the same day that she finished her County Report for the 4th grade and she informed me that she was going to check out some more books on her county becasue she wanted to continue researching it.....I was just like, "Well, ok then" or the time that she let me know if she did not keep her room clean every day for 2 weeks, she would be grounded. I was wondering if this was something her dad had said to her because grounding wasn't something we have really ever done much, she said, "No, she had made that deal with herself."....What child grounds themself???????

Breanna is also a grande thinker.....like her father, she very much likes to make things big, shocking and elaborate. I find myself reminding her to keep it simple quite often. She has great ideas and is frustrated with herself when she is unable to carry them through.  It is very important for her to keep her word and she loves helping others. Last year, she held a free class one day a week where she had girls from the neighborhood over and taught them something new each week. Each class ended with a treat and she put a lot of time into thinking up what she would do the next week. This year she walks a group of younger girls home and just frets about it when they get a different ride or she does not know where they are. She ends up going to their house after school to check and make sure they made it home!

Breanna has a heart of gold and absolutely loves to laugh and make others smile. She is usually entertaining us in one way or another. She will come home from a school party with a candy for her little sister that she has kept safe all day to share with her.  She already has a love for serving others and is always my right hand when we are undertaking any sort of service for friends or family. Breanna is always more concerned about how those around her are feeling, than herself.

 I am blessed to have her in my home as my daughter, friend, little helper and thankful for the  sweet little spirit she carries everywhere she goes and blesses all those that she comes in contact with.

Life would not be the same without my little Breanna!

Why do we even try?

Have you ever wondered why we even try? The first time that you were trying to learn to ride your new bike: you kept crashing, maybe had skinned up knees and probably at first were pretty frustrated. Then there is learning to tie your shoes! When you really think about it, its amazing we ever learn this one. We are given super long laces for our wee little, chubby fingers to maneuver and then every person that is teaching you has a different way: something to do with bunny ears or through the tunnel. But finally we get it and we are so proud of ourselves, we think we are pretty much the smartest kid on the block! We want to tie everyone's shoes for them and they patiently wait the 6 minutes for us to do so.

Well, this week Justin's science project went on from his Elementary School to the next level, which meant he would get to go to the Science Fair at the High School I was so very proud of him. Not everyone gets this chance, it is really a great accomplishment. So the night of the Science Fair, he puts on a nice shirt, which is pretty huge for a 12 year old boy, he is pretty jazzed to go and sit at his project for a few hours while people come, view and ask questions. At the end of the evening there's an award ceremony, where we find out who gets to go onto the next level. I am tired and debating if we even really need to go to the Awards or not. But Justin really wanted to so we went. As I am sitting there with him, I start to realize that he really wants his project to be chosen. He really, really wants to have his chosen. I had not realized this

until now, I was just proud that he got to this level. He sits through the evening on the edge of his seat. Well, I am sure by the title you can predict what happens, his name is not read. After the last name is read, his head hangs down. He is upset and sad. I look at him and know there is really nothing that I could do to help him, it is just one of those life lessons that we all have to learn: sometimes we win and sometimes we lose! As he throws his project into the back of the car I also realize he is angry and mad. So as we drive home I try to console him and try to explain how many kids were there and how only a few could win, how it was an accomplishment to have gotten that far and I am sure to him he heard blah, blah blah.

Since that night I have been thinking about how life is so full of these upsetting times. So why do we even try? Why do we allow a little bit of our hearts to break and our hopes and dreams to be shattered? What makes us as babies think we can walk, learn to talk or feed ourselves. Why do we even try?

I think I have come up with a few reasons. The first reason is the cheerleaders in our lives! They cheer us on, tell us to keep going and tell us that we can do it. Where would we be without these cheerleaders in our lives. In my life my biggest cheerleaders have been my mom who is always cheering me on, my father who teaches me consistency, my sister who always stands by my side, my brother that always tells me he loves me and my other brother that is such a great example to me, my husband that ate a lot of really bad dinners but kept encouraging me all along the way (he would never in a million years tell me that he did not like something that I had fixed for dinner, but I finally figured out that he would just put Ranch on it, I am happy to say he is using a lot less Ranch these days!) and supporting my desire to be a good mother, and of course the little cheerleaders in my life: my 5 children that look at me with eyes of trust in my decisions and the things that I teach them and their desire to do good pushes me. The next reason I feel that we keep trying is because of our constant desire to better ourselves, to make things a little nicer and to improve our current situation. But the most important reason that I feel we keep trying is because of our Maker. He represents perfection, exactness and greatness in every way! Our desire to return to Him, makes us also want to become like Him!

So we will fall, we will fail, we will have bad days and will not feel like getting out of bed....but there is a greater force calling us to be better and to keep on going! As parents, when we see our children fall, our heart hurts for them. The night after the Science Fair I had the thought to go out and have a trophy made up for Justin myself, just because I wanted him to feel Great about himself! I wanted him to be able to see himself the way that I see him, a fine young man that is growing up so quickly and will make a difference in this world. It makes me realize that when we fail here on earth how our Father in Heaven must feel so sad for us and then multiply that by ALL of his children here on earth, I wonder how he could handle seeing all of that, but then I remember all of the successes his sees each day and He looks at our failures in a much different light than we do... he sees them as teaching moments. Are we learning from them? Each of our trials are lessons given to us to better ourselves, stretch us and let us see that we actually can do more than we ever thought.

Angels Among Us!

When you get a job as a shoe clerk, you notice every ones shoes. When you get a new car, you notice how many others of that same car are out there. When you are trying to get pregnant it seems like everyone you know IS pregnant. Anyways, that is what I do...I obsess, with whatever thing I am currently undertaking. So my RS lessons that I teach I end up doing the same. This month was no different but in a very good way! My lesson was on Angels. So for the past month I have had the opportunity to look at everyone a little differently... a lot differently. Little acts of service or kindness or love to me have been signs of My Heavenly Fathers great love for me. The Errand of Angels, we are either the Angels or the Errand. Of course, we all would rather be the Angels, but each day...whether we would like to admit it or not, we are also the errand! Some errands are very small, a smile at the store from a stranger, a call from a dear friend with a listening ear. And of course, those life changing errands that someone goes far beyond they needed to.

I have been writing in my journal daily for the past year and a half. It all started when I heard the General Conference talk by Henry B. Eyring and the specific way in which he wrote in his journal. That talk spoke directly to my soul and I knew this was what I needed in my life. My journal entries now all start the same way: "I felt Gods hand in my life today when..." So now at the end of each day, I take the time to record the way my life has been blessed. I must admit on those hard days, it can be a real stretch, but I can ALWAYS find something. I am blessed and watched over daily! I have had so many angels in my life and to be able to recognize them for what they are is amazing, these are things that the Lord would do for me if he were here on earth and able to do them himself~How wonderful is that!!!!

There are angels among us...those that love me, help me, pray for me, put up with me, call to check on me, listen to me, walk through trials with me, offer up help to me and bless my life! I wonder if I can keep these rose colored glasses on a little longer and look at all of those that I come in contact with in a new light. Can I look at them as either my Angel or my Errand?

Just think how this little change in our thoughts about others could change so many things in our lives. One of my favorite quotes is "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience." There are so many, many angels around us...signs that we have a loving Father in Heaven who knows our names and what we are going through and is looking to bless us through others or send us on his errand!

Friends!

Good Friends... what would we do in this life without them? I have friends that I have known for over 30 years. We use to play babies together and now we are having our own babies (no I am not pregnant...well in this photo I AM!!!) Where did the time go? Life just seems to be passing by so quickly. I wish I could have a little chat with Father Time and ask him a few questions: Why does it seem that the hardest times in our lives seem to drag on and take forever to get through; while the most fabulous times of our lives seem to pass by so quickly. It feels to me like the 9 months of pregnancy (I really don't enjoy being pregnant) seemed to take forever to get through, but the past 17 years of my sons life have gone quicker by far than the 9 months it took to get him here. It just doesn't make any sense.

Being a mother to my 5 beautiful children has been the BEST part of my whole life!!! They are some of my very best friends. I don't know what life would be like without them. They are some of the most amazing people I have ever met and each new stage brings us closer to one another.

I am so thankful that when our loving Father sent us here to take this test he sent us here with friends. Friendships that help us weather the storms of life. Friends to be our cheerleaders and lend support when we need to be lifted up. Friends that have strong shoulders to cry on, friends that have listening ears and friends that move us to action and help us to change. But my very most very favorite friends of all are the ones that love me no matter what and do not pass any sort of judgment on me. They take me for where I am and realize that I am trying to do my best. This sort of friend seems to be the hardest to find.

I am thankful for friends, throughout all of my life, I have always been blessed with very good friends!

A Conversation with a Teen, reading between the Lines

Makayla: "Mom, today at church I learned that we picked who we wanted for our mothers."
Me: "Really and you picked me?"
Makayla: "Yep, because we knew our mothers would be able to help us through what we were going to go through in this life."
Me: "Really and you picked me?"

I was a little surprised by this short conversation, we had while making Sunday dinner. If I am not mistaken, I think this may have been a complement from my 13 year old daughter. I think she was telling me, that she is glad I am her mother.

Oh, to just have a glimpse beyond the veil. What did it look like, smell like, feel like? Who were we there, who did we make promises to? What were a few of things that we wanted to come to this earth to accomplish? Have you ever walked into a room and then tried to remember what it was that you came in there to get! That is what I feel like sometimes...what was it that I came here to do? In a world with so much to do on my list, how will I remember to do what I am supposed to do for that day.

I set the timer each time I bake another batch of cookies or I would never remember they were cooking. I hope that when my timer goes off and says that I am done baking in this rather hot world at times that I will feel done. That I will have all of the ingredients that I need to take with me....

I hope that I am doing what I should be doing, need to be doing and things that are of some eternal importance. That my maker will look into my eyes and know who I am and how hard I have tried, sincerely tried.